


Half Life: VR but the AI is self aware. Also there's a pony.

by HLVRAInerd7891



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life: VR but the AI is Self-Aware, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: F/M, Ponysona, Self Insert, first fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-25 03:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30082593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HLVRAInerd7891/pseuds/HLVRAInerd7891
Summary: Gordon came into work today thinking everything was gonna be fine and dandy. It wasn't. First there was a security guard that wanted his passport for some fucking reason, now said guard was following him and seemed to be planning on following him even in the test chamber, then he found out that he wasn't fucking kidding about needing a passport...... And now there's a fucking unicorn. Things were just gonna keep on getting worse and worse, huh?
Relationships: OC X OC, Persona X Persona, Pony X Human
Kudos: 1





	1. There's a unicorn in Black Mesa.

Gordon was finally in the homestretch to the testing chamber, but that damn guard was still following him. It seemed like he was equally irritated, though, as when they got off the elevator he started grumbling. “Can’t fucking believe it…”

Gordon couldn’t help but crack a small smile, “Yeah? That’s what I should be sa-“ He stopped in the middle of his sentence as he looked at who was checking out the computers where Benrey was wandering to. He had to rub his eyes to make sure he wasn’t seeing shit, but unfortunately for his sanity, there was indeed a fucking unicorn standing there.

She had a light red coat, a green mane with a neon green hair tie at the end, though one large lock was free from this and over her face, with a bright green stripe (probably dyed, Gordon refused to believe that was natural.), brown eyes, red headphones with a symbol that looked kind of like a shield on both sides, a white work shirt, a light green tie with a slightly darker stripe, and what appeared to be a tattoo of a water lily on her flank. Stranger still was the floating clipboard next to her, surrounded by a blue aura that was also present on her horn.

Gordon may as well accept it; all semblance of normalcy that he’d known before would be gone by the end of the day.

The mare looked up from what she was doing and at the guard, giving him a cheerful “Hi!” He only spared her an irritated glance, responded with “Don’t FUCKING talk to me!” and walked off.

“Well, SOMEONE’S having a good day…” She said, tone dripping with sarcasm. She then took notice of Gordon, who was still staring at her, “Oh! You’re the guy doing the test today, right?” He blinked, shaking his head as he quickly gave up on trying to come up with logical explanations, “Oh, uh, yeah. Uhh, since when did Black Mesa have unicorns?” Great going, Gordon. Definitely could have worded that better or, better yet, kept your goddamn pie hole shut.

Thankfully, she didn’t seem to take offense, “Since a couple weeks ago! You didn’t hear about the E.T.P.?”

“Uhhh, no? What’s the E.T.P.?”

“The Equestrian Transfer Program! It allows creatures from Equestria and Equestria’s allies to work with humans and form strong bonds! Princess Twilight Sparkle herself proposed the idea to your government, and now here we are!”

Gordon was silent for a good 20 seconds while he processed this information, then groaned, “Why the fuck does no one tell me anything?! First the whole passport rule, and now this!” He then remembered something the mare had said, “Wait… Did you say “creatures”? Like… Not just unicorns?”

The mare nodded, “Yep! There’s a changeling and a hippogriff in Biological Research, another unicorn, a pegasus, and a dragon in the lambda labs, and there’s even a yak that’s delivering the test sample!”

“... A *yak*.”

“A yak!”

Gordon pinched the bridge of his nose, “Whyyy does today of all days have to be like this?” He sighed, “Maybe I should just… Stop thinking about it so hard. And just get the test over with. Uhh… Sorry for bothering you, ma’am.”

The mare smiled, “It’s alright! I wasn’t doing anything anyway, really, just checking on a couple things. My name’s Lily Blade, by the way.” She extended a hoof, which Gordon awkwardly accepted and shook, “Gordon. Gordon Freeman.”

“Well, good luck in the chamber, Gordon!” Lily said, then they went their own ways.

…

Lily trotted to the observation area, where she was met with 4 scientists. One was over at the microphone, and she couldn’t really see his face from this angle. Another was a balding old man with large square glasses and a slender build, Lily could even swear the man had claws. The man next to him was short and a bit round, with fluffy white hair and a mustache, he looked to be somewhere around the same age as the balding man. The last one was a tall lanky middle-aged man with black hair, bright yellow eyes you might think were glowing if you didn’t look twice, and a friendly smile.

“Hello!” The latter scientist greeted her with a wave, “Y-You’re Ms. Blade, right?” She smiled, “Just Lily is fine. Pleasure to meet you, sirs!”

“O-Oh! My name’s Tommy!” He says, offering his hand which Lily places her hoof in and shakes. However, her attention is quickly captured when she sees something move in the test chamber from the corner of her eye. She turns her head to look inside, and sees the guard from earlier. Her smile turns into a frown, “Um… Why and how is that guard in there?”

Before she can expect an answer, the airlock opens, revealing Gordon, who seems just as shocked as she is, “HOW the FUCK?!!” Lily suddenly had the feeling that this was gonna be a long day.

“HELLO?” Tommy shouted into the chamber. “Oh my god, now Tommy’s up there?” Gordon asks no one in particular. “TOMMY!” The guard shouts back to Tommy. “Oh, do you know that guy?” Lily asks Tommy, hoping to get some answers for both her sake and Gordon’s. “TOMMY!!!” The guard shouts again. “Hi!” Tommy replies, eliciting a chuckle from Gordon.

Then the strangest thing happens. The fluffy white-haired man says something about Gordon’s passport, but she can’t fully parse it before she sees the guard sing out magenta orbs. Last Lily checked, humans were incapable of using magic, so what in the buck was that? Or better yet, what the buck was *he*? “Uuum, what did that guy just do?” She tried to ask, but unfortunately received no answer as Tommy tried to inquire about Gordon’s passport and the aforementioned HEV suit-clad man tried to convince the guard to go back into the airlock.

“You’re not getting rid of me that easy,” The guard said. “I don’t know how the fuck you even managed to get in here!” Gordon almost shouted, then pointed at the observation area, “That’s not supposed to be open!”

“I know your tricks,” the guard tried to counter, “You steal stuff by telling people to go away.” Lily was starting to get a headache as the two bickered, so she took a step back to wait for the aching in her brain to calm down. Once Lily felt like she’d recovered enough to bring her attention back to the task at hoof, Gordon was walking up to the ladder.

“Gordon, are you not hearing me?” The scientist at the microphone asked impatiently. “I AM HEARING YOU LOUD AND CLEAR!” Gordon shouted back, “WE’RE GONNA HAVE A FUCKING DEATH AT THE WORKPLACE TODAY, JESUS CHRIST!”

“Acceptable losses!” The balding man said, causing Lily to look at him like he was fucking insane. “What do you mean “acceptable losses”?! We don’t need two people in here!” Gordon responded, taking the words right out of her mouth, “What is he doing?! Where is he going- he’s listening to me, he’s gonna jump in.”

“Listening to you? Did I miss something?” Lily asked. “Standard procedure, Gordon!” The mustached man said. “HOW THE BUCK IS THIS STANDARD PROCEDURE?!” She unintentionally shouted at him. “THE UNICORN IS MAKING MORE SENSE THAN ANY OF YOU GUYS!” Gordon shouted, definitely thankful that SOMEONE was on the same page as him, but a little disappointed that it was something he was still having trouble believing.

“I’m gonna- I’m gonna turn on the fuckin’ rotator! Spinning… device!” He said, reaching to flip the switch. “Wait!” The guard shouted, sprinting over to the ladder rather quickly. “Wait for- Nooo, he’s comin’ up?!” Gordon said, distress evident in his voice, “Jesus, he’s so fast!” The guard climbed up the ladder just as fast as he ran to it… Then got stuck at the top.

Lily took another moment to rub her forehead while the scientist at the mic once again reminded Gordon to start the rotors, then looking back up to see him help the guard down. “Gordon, the rotors!” The balding scientist shouted, clearly irritated. “WE’RE GONNA TURN THIS SHIT ON!” Gordon shouted back, equally irritated, “I- This is not standard procedure. You guys are- This is- What is the date today, April fucking first?!”

“March 5th!” Lily shouted in hopes to restore at least some of Gordon’s faith in reality. Gordon sighed, then hit the switch, “Okay. I’m- I turned it on! I started the fucking gear! We’re going! We- We’re goin’!” Some smoke started coming out of the rotors, causing Gordon’s expression to appear more concerned, “Th- There’s supposed to be- s- The smoke’s normal, right?”

“What?” The balding scientist asked. “The smoke!” Gordon repeated, “The smoke off the top of the rotor!” “Well, you’re not supposed to smoke in the test chamber, Gordon!” The mustached man said, clearly misinterpreting what he’d said, giving Lily a small laugh. “No, we’re not smoking!” Gordon said. The laser was then turned on, catching her attention. Tommy had said something, Lily didn’t quite catch it though. “Can you guys talk on the mic like that guy?” Gordon asked, referring to the scientist prattling on about the current status of the laser, “Like, use the intercom! You have that for a reason!”

“He’s hogging it!” The balding scientist said, “He won’t let us use it!” “I can’t hear you!” Gordon shouted. “They only gave us enough budget for one microphone, Gordon!” The mustached scientist said. “And we only have enough budget for one fucking test subject!” Gordon retaliated, gesturing to the guard standing next to him, before going over to the ladder and climbing down. He marveled at the laser for a bit before the guard said “Don’t steal anything!”

“What could I steal?!” Gordon shouted at him, then looked around for him, “Where even are you?! Where did y-“ He then looked up to see the guard still on the balcony, “Oh hey, you’re up there. Okay, you stay up there, that’s probably safer than being down here…” Lily was honestly kinda getting bored of the two’s bickering, so she opted to just zone out for a while until her attention was called for.

She soon heard Tommy say “Slower than molasses drips off a spoon! :)” with an almost audible smiley face, causing both her and Gordon to crack up. She looked down into the chamber to see Gordon getting ready to push the sample into the laser. “Sure thing, man. Sure thing, sure thing,” he said, “Standard insertion!” Gordon then began pushing the cart with the sample towards the laser. *Finally, we’re getting somewhere!* Lily thought.

He then paused halfway, “We’re good, right? We’re good- We’re good with a second guy in here? A contaminated- He’s coming down.” Lily’s disappointment was immeasurable and her day was ruined. “Don’t touch anything!” The guard said, running over to him. “This is my job, dude! This is what I’m paid to do! You’re here to guard the door or something?” Gordon said, “Y- You’re- You’re supposed to be- You’re looking for PASSPORTS, you’re worried ab-... I’m gonna put it in there.”

“Why are you moving that?” The guard asked. Lily wanted to shoot this man. Lily wanted to fire a magic blast at him so bad. “Because that is the next step!” Gordon said. “Why would you be touching it?” He asked again. Lily Blade could swear she felt her horn light up subconsciously. “Where could I take this?! WHERE on EARTH could I BRING THIS where people would see?!” Gordon replied, Lily couldn’t tell if there was slight laughter or sobbing in his voice, “There are 2 entrances you can use, the door and the fucking glass you broke!”

“The glass isn’t broken, Gordon,” Lily said, “I have no bucking clue how he got in there.” Gordon sighed, “We- We are so far behind schedule, my mind is about to-“ He then proceeded to mimic exploding noises. “If you don’t hurry up in there, I’m going to fucking explode!” The balding man said. “Same, but probably literally,” Lily followed up with. Gordon started responding, something about 2 people being in the test chamber, but the balding man spoke again, “Who said I wasn’t being literal?”

“... Not what they taught me in MIT! I’m j- I’m doin’ it!” Gordon finished, and the balding man turned back to the test chamber, leaving poor Lily befuddled. “It’s fine, nothing will go wrong!” He said. “Yeah! Nothing will go wrong!” Gordon repeated, pushing the sample into the laser and…

Something went wrong.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!!” The balding man shouted as the machinery began malfunctioning, green lightning started shooting everywhere, and Gordon took several steps back. “SPARKS- OH NO, YOU DID IT TOO FAST!” Tommy shouted. “YOU SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT YOUR PASSPORT, GORDON!” The mustached man shouted. “GUYS! GET CLOSE TO ME!” Lily shouted at the other scientists. 

Tommy and the mustached scientist managed to get to either side of her, but the scientist that was at the mic didn’t make it to her before green lightning shot into the room. Lily managed to put up a shield to protect herself, Tommy, and the mustached man in time, but the other scientist was now dead and… Buck, where did the bald guy go?!

She didn’t have much time to think about it though, as there was a green flash and suddenly everything was dark.


	2. A Huge Hornache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang is having a day

Lily Blade groaned as she woke up. An obnoxious alarm filled her sensitive ears, a smell not unlike ozone filled the air, and she had a horn ache that she soon recognized to be magical feedback when she looked around. Tommy and the other older scientist she’d managed to protect were also waking up, a green laser shot into the observation area occasionally, and there was also the corpse of the man she couldn’t save. Just knowing the body was there made her sick.

“Well… That certainly could’ve gone better, eh?” The older scientist said, probably trying to lighten the mood. “You don’t say…” Lily replied. Then the three of them heard it. Someone was in the test chamber, it sounded like he was talking to himself. The older scientist got up and looked out the window, “Hello? Is there anyone out there? Hello??”

“Hey!” It was Gordon, he was still alive! “Hey, are you up there?” Lily went over to the window, and saw that Gordon was indeed alive, and surprisingly relatively unharmed. The guard was nowhere to be seen, though. “Gordon! You’re alright!” She couldn’t help but exclaim. “What happened?!” Gordon shouted. “I don’t know, Gordon!” The older scientists said, “There was... a bright light, and everything exploded! Jason is dead, there’s blood everywhere! Tommy and I are lucky to have gotten to where Lily could shield us in time!”

“Shield you?” Gordon asked. “Yeah, I managed to cast a barrier just in time,” She said, “But now I’ve got a MASSIVE hornache, I probably won’t be able to cast spells for a while.” Gordon opted to just add that to the list of things to question when in safety. “Alright, well, I’m gonna get up there, gimme a minute, okay?” He said, “I gotta go through a few corridors.”

“I don’t know if we have a minute, Gordon, but you’d better get your keister over here!” The older scientist replied. “I’m gonna- I’d better get away from this fucking thing,” Gordon said, gesturing to the now destroyed laser emitter and then going to the airlock, his voice fading out as he went further away from the observation area. “Okay, so what now?” Lily asked, turning to the two humans… only to spot what looked like a cooked turkey come back from the dead waddle into the room. “What the buck is that?!”

The men turned to look at it when it suddenly lunged at Tommy. Lily tried to blast it, but this only served to intensify her hornache and she squeezed her eyes shut. She heard a hard smack, and a dying cry. She looked up to see the older man in a fighting stance, and the dead body of the creature all the way on the other side of the room. “Th-That was WAY too close!” Tommy said, “Thanks, M-Mr. Coomer!” Coomer smiled, “Any time, Tommy!” He then turned to Lily, still in a fighting stance which made her flinch, “And to answer your question, Lily, I believe you and Tommy should go make sure Gordon gets here safe and sound while I try to fix the terminal in here! I may be able to make contact with the outside world from it!”

The mare nodded, “Sounds like a plan. Stay safe, Coomer.” She and Tommy then left the observation lounge.

The duo didn’t have to walk very far to find Gordon walking out of the elevator from the lower floor, followed by the balding scientist (where the buck was he?) Gordon quickly went to check on two scientists that were already in the room, when Tommy called to get his attention. “Tommy! Lily!” He said, relieved to see friendly faces. “Watch out, there’s creatures!” Tommy said. “Creatures?” Gordon asked, “What do you mean “creatures”?” He then took notice of a couple tubes more of the turkey-like things ended up in and walked over to them, “Jesus, what are these things?! What the fuck?” He then heard one of the scientists address him and went to talk to him.

Meanwhile, the balding scientist went to inspect one of the odd creatures. It kept trying to jump at him, and was getting awfully close to crawling out of the huge crack, so the man pulled out a revolver and shot it.

Wait what the buck? This guy is just carrying around a REVOLVER?!

Gordon looked over at him just before he put it away. “... Did you just pull out a GUN?!” He asked, approaching him cautiously. “It came right at me, Gordon,” he defended. “Where did you get a GUN?” Gordon asked, before hearing the elevator open. He turned and saw the guard come out (he survived?!). “Oh hey, you made it up.” He said, not very enthusiastic. He then turned to the group, “Listen, so we need to get to the surface. We- We have to make sense of- We need to make sense of what the FUCK is happening-“ Gordon was interrupted by the balding scientist cursing as a headcrab leapt at the orange-clad man, causing him to shout in surprise when he turned around to see it.

“OH MY GOD, IT’S LOOSE!” The balding man shouted. The guard then walked up to the thing, pulled out an odd-looking gun and fired some kind of energy ball out of it, which killed the creature and started bouncing around the room, causing Lily Blade to quickly hunker down. “Ho-ho! Way to go!” The balding man cheered. “WHAT ARE WE ARMING OUR GUARDS WITH?! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT WEAPON?!” Gordon asked once the ball exploded in the corner of the room harmlessly. “OH MY GOD, THEY’RE DEAD!” The balding scientist exclaimed, pointing out the casualties of the guard’s unconventional weapon. “That was, uh… That was a passport,” The guard said.

Lily knew for a fact that was not a passport. She could swear her hornache was only getting worse.

“Good work, sir!” Tommy said, still friendly as ever, despite the situation. Gordon shook his head as the guard went over to the two scientists (Wait, didn’t they die? Maybe Lily shouldn’t question it…), then addressed the two other men and mare, “Listen, so, we- okay, I need- I need to- we need to get our heads on straight… Who- Tommy. Okay, Tommy-“ Lily then heard someone scream “NO!” and quickly turned around to see the guard calmly standing in front of a scientist who was burning alive. “WHAT THE BUCK?!” She shrieked. “What is happening?!” Gordon said, then pointed at the burning man which Tommy was still somehow oblivious to, “Tommy, turn around! Tommy!”

Unfortunately, by the time Tommy had turned around, the burning man had… vanished? Lily was speechless. “Did- Did he- *Did he do that*?” Gordon asked, fear creeping into his voice. He then bravely approached the guard, “Hey, what happened to those guys?” The guard looked between Gordon and where the scientist was standing. “Uhh, they didn’t have their passport,” He replied. Lily watched the color drain from this poor man’s face. “... You’re gonna want to find that passport, Gordon,” The balding man said. “Yeah, we’re gonna- I’ll get the passport when we go to the surface,” He said, turning to the guard and offering a crooked smile and reassuring pats, failing to conceal his terror he held for this “man”, “I prom- We’re gonna get that passport. Gotta get that passport.”

Gordon turned back to the group, “Okay, so, Tommy-“ He was interrupted by the balding scientist, “If you’re like me, then it’s in your locker.” Something then occurred to Gordon, “What is your name? What is your name?” The man in question was silent for a few seconds, “I don’t remember, I took a beating to the head.” Oh fun. “No, bro, you know your fucking name,” Gordon said, not in the mood for ANY form of bullshit, “Stop joking around, I’m tired of people fucking with me today!” He sighed, “What is your name?”

The older man sighed, “Fine… mmm… Bubby.” Lily restrained a laugh. “... Bubby,” Gordon repeated, not fully believing this, “Okay, Sure, Bubby, that’s not your name. Fucking with me. Tell me your name when you’re ready.” He then turned to Tommy to finally talk to him, “Tommy- Where’d the cop go?! Ugh, never mind, let’s just go, let’s just go find the fuckin’... Ugh…”

Lily offered Gordon a look of sympathy as they walked back to the observation area, which he seemed to acknowledge. This was a long day for both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! I'm just realizing now that these fics might be a bit rambley, I hope it looks okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my funky little self-insert fic! Here's what Lily Blade looks like, in case my description was shit: https://www.deviantart.com/pkzlr/art/Lily-Blade-862157578
> 
> Also it didn't keep the italics when I copy/pasted from Google Drive, and I couldn't figure out how to fix that, so I just put *s around the words that were supposed to be italic.


End file.
